inthishoneycomb

2009-11-26T11:22:00.000-08:00

found love:)

never tot that after all this time, the one tat really touches my heart and doesnt break it have always been right in front of me.
after so long, i finally can love again.

we chatted for quite sometime, met up a few times, i realise i can love him. cant believe all this time i didnt see his beautiful soul.

cant believe i spent all this time whining abt someone else. when i could have felt this good.

i'm in love again ppl:)
and its a real sin to fall in love with a sin :)

2009-10-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

'I keep saying im gonna move on
but it's so hard when you're all that i know'

saw this on jarine's blog.
gotta say its something tat it totally yanked my heartstrings out.

2009-10-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

actually went out for a run today with my old fren. he was passing through the tremultous breakup phase so he decided he needed to unwind with someone to listen.
so yeah we jogged, he looks like a small version of jacob black leh. LOLL but anyway, we were running from around my place to cck park. which is super far away.

he just kept on gg and gg, then i was like wanna die alrdy sia. so far loh.. but he's a damn good trainer i think.. keep tricking me 'reach alrdy! reach alrdy!' then end up still got on whole stretch ahead to run... so i showed him the finger several times.

the night was super cold coz it was just the fresh cool still air after a downpour during dusk. so i was kinda freezing at first. but then he wore a singlet, then i was like wth.. so cold sia.. still wear singlet.

but not long after, i was sweating like crazy, stinking my teeshirt. then he still remained quite dry. zzz-.-

but anyway, he was talking abt his now ex the whole time. and yeah from him i found out that my ex is doing pretty fine. so yeah, it was pretty light hearted coz i think my fren is totally head over heels in love with the girl and yet the girl is like, such a bitch to diss him.

when we reached the 'water pt', he had an idea, i duno if its brilliant or not coz i was wondering wat if he didnt make tat call. since she refused to reply my fren's pleadings, my fren decided to cal her. i posed as tat girl's fren and tried to get her on the phone and voila, she picked it up. but then she was soo mean to my fren. my fren looked so devastated. she said almost the same things my ex said to me.

it was quite a rude shock but i tried to keep it down by not saying much. i just kept him talking. but inside my head i was dying to give him a huge bear hug and whisper into his ear 'i feel ur pain and i rmb how the words stung and tore me apart.'
but i didnt lah, coz i was stinking like a rubbish heap.

my fren is the sweetest guy ever, though he's got flaws like his bad temper and attitude problem. but he knows it and he's utterly sorry for being such a meanie. he kicks himself over for being so nasty to his gf. lol.. i've never seen a guy like tat in my circle before.

so throughout our return journey, he was talking abt her, how he misses her, the small things, the huge things.. and i realised that, there really isnt much difference btwn the feelings of guys and girls when it comes to the context of real love. the DEVOTED kind. so it was like seeing how i was when i was so broken, replaying before my very eyes, only this time it is a male in my place.

but never in my life have i ever dreamed that my fren would kena dumped lah. he's the kind who will have girls lining up after him wan loh.. when we were out running, wah lao eh.. everyone(including the men) look at him. no one look at me -.-'' i felt so depressed.

he was holding back his tears, i could tell. i told him to cry, but he said its fine. i told him to shout out anything he wanted to. but he said he would have to shout it at me. which is sumthing he didnt want to do.

so all i did was say as few things as possible. i was so afraid i might hit the wrong spot. i didnt really have anyone there for me when i got thru my breakup coz i was like on my way to Msia. so for the entire vacation i was crying in my slp everynight. coz those words stung badly and i almost wanted to cry when i saw my fren in that state of agony.
i kept saying time wil heal him. though he says its gonna be a long long time.

i should know.
time will heal all wounds. but no one said anything abt the side effects.
time was like the blue fairy who gave me life after i became so broken and unfeeling coz all i could rmb was the hurt for a very long time.

though i'm more or less back to normal again. nothing will ever be the same.

2009-10-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

my new loves :*

Her Morning Elegance / Oren Lavie

2009-10-19T07:28:00.001-07:00

GREAT VIDEO!!!

許美靜 - 城裡的月光

2009-10-17T06:58:00.001-07:00

i know this is sibei old school
BUT I LIKE!!

2009-10-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

ryan grosling:)
god he's so handsome!!!
i want a guy who looks like tat eh. LOL

2009-10-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

i cant help but post another post.
it hurts sooo bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cramps!!!! Da Yi Ma is here and she's killing me.

and all those talk with joshe is making me think alot AGAIN

how i wish i have someone to call my own and rely on instead of being so emotionally independent all the time.
singlehood is great. soloness is my fave thing in the world.
but then again..
i always begin with the end in mind.
i block out everyone.

2009-10-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

this is my room now, a lil messy coz i've been drawing and doing my drafting for my blazer. god.. i kept insisting to my mother i want to do the proper version not the flimsy version ppl sell out there. then she say "ur standard not there yet" then i was like, "not there then u help me lah!"
then she finally agreed to to let me try. -.-

i did this pic of george michael. its A1 size, white pastel on blackboard. obviously, it looks fucking way off. :/

these are some of the pictures i took the other time while i was on mount faber. taken with dslr, ok, i didnt really did justice to the camera, but arh well, i suck at photography!

tanglin mall,they have one of my fav supermarkets :))))

(HSS 02a) - Cyril Takayama Magic Explanation [Part 1/2 Golden Horse Award 2007]

2009-10-08T12:00:00.001-07:00

sicko magician! HAHAHA he can even pull burgers out of posters! LOL go watch this guy!!!

funny french bulldog

2009-10-08T11:35:00.001-07:00

me singing stayin alive by bee gees

2009-10-07T10:56:00.001-07:00

LMAO

Me singing Billie Jean by michael jackson

2009-10-07T10:55:00.001-07:00

yeah. ROCK ON!

me singing boom boom pow by black eyed peas (my version)

2009-10-07T10:28:00.001-07:00

NO ITS NOT MY VERSION. ITS THIS WONDERFUL KICKASS GUY XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Connie Talbot and Blind Korean Girl Pianist

2009-10-06T04:45:00.001-07:00

i wanna melt liao...
makes me wanna cry siaaa

Blind 5 Year Old Korean Girl Pianist - Child Genius

2009-10-06T04:43:00.001-07:00

the saddest and sweetest thing i've ever seen:)

Lady Gaga's Shocking MTV VMA 2009 Fashion

2009-10-05T10:00:00.001-07:00

she reminds me of singer 'cher'

New Moon Official Trailer #3 (HD)

2009-10-05T09:48:00.001-07:00

OMG MAN, i'll watch this alone is no one wants to watch it with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!
can it come out tomorrow??!??

2009-10-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

wah.. didnt feel like blogging at all for the past few days.

spent overnight at a chalet at weiming's bday party.
pretty much a blast!!!
loads of laughing and chicken!!!! and crabsticks!!! and hot dogs!!!!!
i'm swearing off chicken for the next whole week.

we had wine and apparently one of our dear fren got tipsy and even banged into the wall. she spent the night on off puking. but nevermind, she was a real sport tat night. pretty much the life of the party :))) bane joined us half way, someone i have no idea who was until he came in and taught us how to play this 'dare' game. ok lah quite fun arh. he's very sporting to even kiss eugene's ass. LOL

oh, and we bought weiming an ipod shuffle for his bday. :) we wrapped it in so many layers of newspapers it looked like huge pillow and he took so long to unwrap it layer by layer.
can u imagine? the whole stack of straits times eh. LOL ALL used to wrap a SMALL ipod shuffle. those super tiny kinds. LOL

there are loads of pics. i havent go get them yet. but i'll post them soon. :)
now lazy arh.. LOL

2009-10-01T08:23:00.001-07:00

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

2009-09-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

ok... i just finished painting my nails.
god....
i took so LONG to get my nails done....
i keep messing up
like 'yay, i'm finally done with my left hand!' then suddenly a tissue paper whips up and stick onto my nails. -_-''
this process repeated a few times!!!! i'm finishing up my bottle of varnish removal in less than a week?!?!?!?!

so yes..
the 'not so perfect' red nails took soooo long to finish.
stain here and stain there...
i'm sure those who have worked with me in 2d art fun would find this piece of info unamusing.

and i soooo regret spamming so many bottles of cheap nailpolish??? coz their brushes suck big time!!!!!!!
the polish was too thick. but that was saved by pouring some remover in the bottle.
but the brush tip. -.- i really wanna cry siaaaaa

and..... WTF!???? I JUST CHIPPED THE NAIL AGAIN!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arghh to hell with it... i'm gonna go to bed liao. zzzz

2009-09-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

i did this piece of drawing ytd. pls dont tell me its pretty and nice coz my dad shoot me until like crazy i feel so depressed. AND. the more depressing fact is tat i was trying to draw anna tsuchiya, god i ended up with an blue blooded ang moh. too much fairies for me!!!

well then yeah, my fren showed me this website, i swear there are the best skilled DA artists ever man!!!!
I KNOW!!! its an ugly alien!!!! BUT!!! THIS IS A VIRTUAL IMAGE!!! OMG CAN U BELIEVE IT!????
well for this one, i'm not super thrilled abt it. but, i think the hair is great, besides the fringe though... tat needs some work. the pullover is super well done.. omg...
god. the body shapes!!!! damn perfect!!!!

after seeing all tat, i feel so depressed :(
haha

why do i even care? why do i even look?
why do i still notice.
why the sudden change?
i wana talk to u. but
i know we cant.
we're not ready to face the past,
nor the present.
let alone the future.
its almost like we'll always be frozen here.
just me and the ghost of u

2009-09-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

went to chomp chomp today with phy, jas, weiming, and jarine. it was fun!! laugh and laugh and laugh.
HAHA

its situated in serangoon gardens i think. need to go a long way to get there. but it was worth it. i felt so sua ku when i got there lah... the place looked so modest and yet full of life. the entire place was like australia in the summer.

we had 'lala', stingray,chicken wings, 50cent worth of rice shared by 4 or 5 of us, satay, and satay beehoon for me and jarine while lor mee for weiming.
then we went to 'icecube' for dessert. phyllis introed us there and GOD I LOVE THE ICECREAM TOPPED WAFFER!!!!

we camwhored pretty loads and laughed alot. like really, i was so full and still laughed like siao. then we wanted to find somewhere else to chill out. but then couldnt find. i ended up sweating buckets. i hate sg weather man.. why always soooo warm wan?!?!??!!?!?
fuck the equator.

anyway, well i 'dabao'ed 2 packets of hokkien mee for my family, whoa... when i got home the noodles were still hot! lol.. it smells very nice. but the taste.. hmmm not bad lah.. but i think there's too much yellow noodles liao.. i prefer those with more rice noodles:)))

anyway.. soooo tiredddddddd
(photos not taken by me)
bye!

2009-09-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

went to school and aston's today. my mom liked the food :D n so did i of course.
i wanted to bring home my painting, but the teacher, the name i also dont really know well, duno is 'simpson' or wat wan. lol, cant hear it properly over the phone. but anyway he told me to bring it back. -.-
so i bo bian have to bring it back after lunching with my mom.

then when i got there, i stupidly called weiming when 'simpson' is on the other side of the studio only. lol
well i just brought it over and wanted to go off then he asked me why i did my painting.
i told him 'well u'll have to read it for yourself' OK it was RUDE but i said it with a smile, IN A NICE WAY!, NOT A SMIRK! lol i wasnt really in a mood for talking lah..
then i got into the car and i asked my mom if i had been rude. she said 'erm yeah tat was kinda rude'
gosh. *smacks my own head*

being rude to a teacher. well tats my forte i guess.. i do it unknowingly THOUGH MOST OF THE TIME I DO IT ON PURPOSE to PISS TEACHERS OFF but ah well... i didnt mean to be rude to 'simpson'. lol

wat a weird name to have.. simpson.. but memorable:) haha

then me and my mom went to jalan sultan that area to shop for cloths. and we did buy quite alot from the textile centre. and i was wearing my ripped top(ok it looked pretty obscene considering tat its exposing most of my back and i wasnt in a very good shape for such a thing, but damn! it was TOO DAMN WARM). the malay lady in hijab asked me if i was a fashion student. i said i wasnt. she asked if i did it myself and i was like, 'yeah'. then she went on and on abt how well proportionate the rips are. its kinda scary when a stranger does tat to u, coz u dont know if they're gonna whip out some products to sell to u or watever.

then well we went home. and the whole time i was so bugged by my rudeness to 'simpson'. wat if he decides to throw away my painting without letting me know! i wanna have a chance to say goodbye to it at least...

tats all.

2009-09-23T05:05:00.000-07:00

finally blogger is working properly for me to upload pics!
anyway this is my art piece for my 2d art fun module. my FAV module so far.
i showed my dad this. then kena shoot like siao.. lol.. he say my painting is too flat. i agree.. its a problem thats been bugging me like since forever.

anyway, i just cleaned my room for the 5th time in 5 days. like serious cleaning. twice today coz i tried to put a EGUH piece of glass on my wall. ok, stupidly, with blutack.-.- then well it did a spectacular suicide mission. there were 'diamonds' everywhere. and this happened just when i was abt to just wrap up my cleaning for the day. wah lao eh.... damn stupid lahh.. and this kinda reminded me of the story of the chronicles of narnia.. haha. i wonder if my whole eyeball is filled with microscopic glass splinters so small that i have no idea that they are there. maybe they'll come out when i cry the next time huh.. haha

i watched beauty and the beast today. haiz.... feel so sad... and listening to taylor swift's 'crazier' makes me even sadder. zzz

u know when u watch romance movies, u feel so like 'awwwwwwww' the whole time? and u wish ur crush and u would get tgt or have a fiery romance just like the movie?
but wat if u dont even have ur sights set on someone at all? LOL like really i wish i could do all those stuffs on tv. but then. i dont even have someone in mind to begin with. so its like if i try to imagine my prince charming presenting me with a dozen roses or watever, his face would be blurred out! or it would be like a scene of myself hugging someone. but i just dont know who the person is! i feel damn silly to even thinking abt this though. LOL

anyway... i'm off! (i just realised i use 'anyway' ALOT.)
au revoir!

2009-09-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

i've been wanting to blog all day.
but now as i sit here typing this 1 and a half sentence, i suddenly dont feel like blogging. LOL
watever.
anyway... been out today, went to SAM(singapore art museum) and then to chinatown to shop for fabrics and stuffs. but returned home empty handed besides the groceries from the supermarket from BP. LOL

well i started my hols with a slpover at eudy's, it was a pretty cool time with them:) they even got to take pics of me dozing off on her couch while watching a movie. zzzz but it was fun:))) i bought too much snacks and well we couldnt finish them. HAHA. and we watched 'the notebook', god its soooo not sad.. but! its super sweet at the end!!!!! its sooo good everyone should watch it!!! well we watched a hell lot of other movies too. really hope to do that someday again!!!!!!!

was clearing my room for the 3rd time in 4 days. coz my dad was drilling holes in my wall for my new shelves. but apparently we 'agared' the measurements wrongly. so he had to drill another few sets of holes for the screws today.. so now i have abt 4 extra holes in my wall.
i ended up throwing away a few fashion mags and relocating my stuffs all over the place. was digging my bag and threw out alot of rubbish. and i found my untouched muesli bar. i always have this bar of something in my bag but usually untouched until i declare it spoiled.
i havent declared the current one spoiled yet though.

well about the hols.. i actually quite like it. coz its been so long since i've lazed ard and do nothing, besides watching cartoons and read books. sounds like fun :)

2009-09-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

hmm... long time never blog. haha
these days are just spent on work work and more work.
really cant wait for the holidays to come.
then i can finally relax and chill for a full month before going out full force again. i'm really not looking forward to my next semester. start of official projects and all... and change of classes -.-... i really am not looking forward to the change siaaa.

if u ask me whether i like where i am now..
i guess pretty much.
for now at least.
its a love hate relationship with my work.
i love the types of work we get to do. but i hate the deadlines.

anyway...
been listening to some sad songs recently.
ok la, quite emo kind of songs. love them.. i wonder why i love sad stuffs so much... is it becoz i like the drama out of sadness? but i've always hated drama though..

cant wait for this friday.. totalllyyyyy LOL!!!!

recently i saw ur pictures on facebook again. i realise how i get tat weird feeling when i see ur face.. like u're a stranger that i might have known.

do i miss him? i still do. do i miss him for him? no i dont.

i miss the guy that i met back in sec 1. seating at the back, too shy to look coz he tot i was into him right there and then.

that guy died a long time ago.

2009-08-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

Samson -regina spektor

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
The bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But there just soft light, there just soft light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
He told me i was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me till the morning light, the morning light
and he kissed me till the morning light

Samson came back to bed
not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

2009-08-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

hmmmmm
sup invisible frens....

i just suddenly have this feeling lah...
so i kinda feel like writing it out...
i think i have a teeny weeny crush on someone right now? but the problem is i dont know him -.- besides his name T-T

well more like eye candying arh.. the 17 yr old lingo. lol..

and i'm not gonna reveal who he is. so pls dont make me say his name.

i never really thought i will like EC him at all..
ok lah, when i look at him, he looked my way accidentally i think.. so coincidental,but anyways, the mainpoint is, he looked so innocent!!! i dont noe if he saw me blush or not, coz the moment i saw him look at me so innocently, i looked away. i scared later he think i despo.. coz i got the kind of 'omg i cant look away' kind of feeling when i see him.

then. well... then i use my talent of capturing image.. lol.. then i will study his face in my memory :)

and shit thing is... i'm god damn sure he is younger than me... T-T WHY!????

hmmm.. well wat else...
nothing much alrdy....
its just a little crush. :)
i think i'm making some progress finally!
but the thing is... he'll never rmb my face like i rmb his... soooo
too bad :(

and joshe asked me if i'm gonna waste 3 yrs away like tat being single.. i guess so? LOL.. ppl like me dont really get a second chance huh :/

2009-08-21T07:54:00.001-07:00

went to esplanade alone today after everyone else went off for their own business(sorry, couldnt find a more apt description in my vocab currently)

because we started at cityhall.. when we got there, the direction of esplanade kept calling me like a ghost...
i didnt want to be a nuisance so i only went after they went off.

walking there alone, towards the esplanade was like almost like a walk down memory lane. like my own personal museum.
here and there, so many little things... i shouldnt say i felt all depressed. in fact i felt kinda happy to be back at where i stood more than a yr ago. with a totally different and new life.

i didnt really managed to sit down and chill.. coz there were rowdy mats and minahs around.. and the problem was that there were more minahs than mats. so i was alone.. and everyone else was in pairs... they just wouldnt stop staring at me...

i walked around for a bit, got REALLY uncomfortable and left. a pity i didnt really get to stand at the same exact spot on the terrace... there was a family, most likely tourists, taking pictures of themselves.

nvm... next time then.

its been soooo long....
401 days..

2009-08-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

ok u must be thinking i'm weird for posting this. in fact i feel kinda weird doing this... but well this pic was initially way more provocative. i actually cropped the head for u guys to see. if i let u see the whole body, i think u'll be dripping blood from ur noses. LOL
super hot right?? so handsomeeeee....
swoons...

i duno why... but i just have to blog this... LOL..
can anyone make hiim real for me pls???

2009-08-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

hello... invisible friend.
i just got home after a dinner and talk session with my secondary school friends. surprisingly.. they weren't the ones that i was closest with during secondary school. they were some pretty cool people that are super nice. just tat we weren't really in the same clique. though we do hangout as a class. but i did have my own closest pals. but it just wasnt them. and those pals... duno all fly where alrdy...

we chatted alot. laughed alot. and i realised how much i miss secondary school.
seems like it was just yesterday tat i was in ncc. in an art class. in a science class. laughing at someone else for being weird. eating in the school canteen. playing by the school pond.
gosh. so many memories. each so fresh and vivid.

i wish i had one more chance in secondary school.
now...
as much as i like my life, i hate it too.

2009-08-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

wahhhh super damn tired... after a few days straight of not sleeping well, i really wanna die alrdy....
fatigueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
well i recently got downgraded for my work.. from A+ drop to B+ leh.. fuck sia... coz i was late for class...
not gonna blame the teacher though... he had to do whats right anyway.. blame the fucking fucked up cabbies...

finally feel kinda relieved. but there's still tons more to be done next week.

but that will be next week. meantime...
let me finish 'New moon' for the 2nd time.
shop ION
and relax

2009-07-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

bella had a hole in her heart.. a gaping wound....
but it healed afterall... new moon passes for her

but for me... new moon seems to drag on forever....
when will the gaping wound sew shut again..

2009-07-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

its july 27 2009. 5:44 am.

i cant slp!!!!
i think coz of the coffee i had earlier on..
wah sian...
later go school become zombie...
must drink loads and loads of coffee...

zzzzzzzzzzzzz
i'm really tired physically...
but my mind cannot stop thinking abt things...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
must wear make up to school today.. if not sure look like edward..

2009-07-15T05:28:00.000-07:00

i'll never understand why every memory of every little thing always seems to lead to u.
probably still smile at all the tiniest sweet moments that have fought to stay in my mind 50 yrs down the road.
time had passed so quickly..
its alrdy mid july...

whenever i step onto the pending lrt station, i rmb how we tired we were and still kept on a look out for any familiar faces.

everytime i walk down the segar lrt stairs, i rmb how we would spent almost half an hour standing there, so reluctant to part

those emails you sent, be it full of sweet words or just anger, they're all still safe in my inbox

everytime hear about esplanade, u come to mind too.

those things u would say to me... they're all in my head, though i never notice how much i seem to remember about u.

bukit panjang reminds me about u.

my room reminds me of you, where i'd try to hide just to talk to u

midnight reminds me of you, talking to you way into the night, losing slp

my cell reminds me of you, how i wished i'd see ur name on my screen again

my ipod reminds me of u, how u used to play with it.

your friends remind me of u

msn reminds me of u

my music.. hell the bulk of them rings ur name

why do i still care about what you like?

i really am real stupid for daydreaming about you so much.

and disgusted with myself for those recurring dreams of u coming back to me.
would i call it a dream when it all seem like a nightmare that makes me jolt out of slp...

what am i going to do with traces of u everywhere?
how am i even gonna move on at all... when u keep haunting me like that.. its not fair...

2009-07-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

wah.. after a few days of chionging my work...
i'm still not finished...
well ytd RHD went for the night festival at SMU. it was pretty good. but not great i guess...
someboday should do sumthing abt the host of the show. the host, a fat lady clad in the 'singapore girl' uniform=no class.

well no offence to SIA stewardess... but i mean.. NO SIA GIRL WEIGHS OVER 60KG right? no matter the height??

her level of linguistic skills were just as baffling.

ok enough bitching.

i'm gg back to work on my stuffs...
bye to anyone who reads this.
may god bless u.
coz i've got flu.

wat the hell am i saying...
bye!

2009-07-04T06:50:00.001-07:00

well, i just had my dinner.
hmmm
i was watching the news and there was a guy who thinks sg can make it to the world heritage list.
but what caught my ears. erm yes, EARS. was when they interviewed on indian guy, i think he's a historian or sumthing. he says singapore has 700 yrs of history.
i am really surprised because tat means we are closer to a 1000 yrs than i thought..
which makes us older than the MONA LISA. wow...

but still... how can we compare ourselves to those historical sites who has seen millenias of life and death.....................

2009-07-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

i just finished watching koizora.
god...
i cried like crazy....
i feel its a very real movie, done in a very neat fashion. a very simple movie about the complexity of love..
there's no edward or absolute bf. there's only a dying young man who wanted so much to keep his sickness a secret from the love of his life. so overall, the story really is kinda predictable. but well... we all like to listen to the same fairytales over and over again dont we?

but then,
how many times in a person's life does true love happen?
i guess for some, it just doesnt.

love is seriously overrated.

2009-06-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

i'm officially eighteen!
means i can officially drink, watch m18 movies, and smoke. (like that even mattered at all)

well my first meal as an eighteen yr old was POPCORN AND COKE. HEHEHEHE
anyway.. i had a great day with joyce:)
she bought me a book!!!! GOSSIP GIRL!!! FIRST OF THE SERIES!!!!! OMG I MUST THANK HER NON STOP MAN!!!!!!!

watched transformers:rise of the fallen. whoa... so damn good man!!!!! i was so engrossed! its super damn action packed. the transformers really look so real! but it was quite disturbing though. coz the ah pek beside joyce smuggled in BANANAS!? and was eating them. he was considerate enough to leave the banana peels behind underneath his seat.!??!?! LOL???
then beside me, was a teen couple, obviously fresh sixteen yr olds. they were repeating the words so lovingly to each other.. it seemed disturbing.. like when megan fox shouts 'SAMMMMM!!!!'
then the girl will like mimic megan fox going, 'sammm!!!! heheheheh' to her bf. then when the shia shouts 'NOOOO' then the guy will repeat it. like?!?!?!?!?!???? and the girl was like ramming herself against her bf's space. ITS NOT A HORROR MOVIE DEAR!!!!
u might wonder why i still managed to notice them. well... i was wondering where the 'echo' came from, and i was pretty damn sure that the actors werent giggling softly.. no time to be loving when there are bullets flying ard above ur head ya know.
all in all, i was baffled by their retarded choice of amusement.

god... i'm soooo fullll..... i just had a bowl of ajisen ramen, a cheesecake, CRABS, hor fun, chicken, fish, crayfishES and longan dessert in the last 7 hrs.
i'm overloaded.
thanks joyce for a wonderful day:)

2009-06-24T00:05:00.000-07:00

just had a 'talk' session with my mother.
well i woke up pretty happily. but i ended up being pissed as ever when i found out that i cant go out with my mom, AGAIN. its always, planned alrdy, then suddenly the plan just smashes coz of my idiot father. for the past 2 weeks, i've not been able to do wat i want with my mom becoz of my idiot father.

i dont feel like elaborating.
so when my father got home, i closed my bedroom door.
and my mom cant understand my problem.
well she did tried hard to talk to me.
but i refused to open my mouth. coz i didnt feel like talking.
my brother couldnt understand my problem either.
so they all ended up making wild guesses. like
'i noe, u dont want to stay here right'
or
'ok, u must be thinking that u have no freedom'
or
'u think ur dad doesnt care abt u, right?' (hell, i dont give a shit whether he cares or not so it fucking doesnt concern me and i'm not bother whether he does or not)

in the end, my mom said 'its not tat he doesnt love u, its just tat u dont know how to give back the love to ppl ard u.'

um hello? initially i wanted to bring my mom out to treat her to eat jap food sia? and its my bday, and i'm intending to treat her. abit weird right? but i didnt say anything.
i'm just so fed up by the fact that whenever i want to go out with my mom, i have to go thru my dad. like if he has any nonsensical problem like, gg to rent a DVD or watever crap. STUPID STUFFS LIKE THESE AND HE NEEDS TO MOBILISE MY MOM. ???????
for 2 weeks, not a single day he doesnt have an imaginary 'problem'. i'm sooo fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i asked my mother, why is all those 'problems' of his happening during my 2 weeks holiday??? i need this holiday coz i have 9 to 6 for the next WHOLE MONTH! i wont be able to do my things! and apparently, those problems never seems to happen when i'm in school. ????
is he doing it on purpose?
omg , i'm soooo fucking pissed off.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2009-06-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

First Love (english)

Once in a while
You are in my mind
I think about the days that we
had
And i dream that these would all come back to me
If only you knew
every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your
memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more

You will always
gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let
you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna
be the one in my life
So true, I believe i can never find
Somebody like
you 
my first love

Once in  awhile
Your are in my dreams
I can
feel the your warm embrace
And I pray that it will all come back to me
If
only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like
your memories
And how I want here to be with you
Once more
yah yah
yah

You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How I
wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Please don't
say no
Now and forever you are still the one
In my heart
So true, I
believe I could never find
Somebody like you
My first love
oh
oh

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish
I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say
no
You will always gonna be the one
So true, I believe I could never
find
Now and forever

2009-06-22T07:03:00.000-07:00

went cycling at east coast ytd with my aunt's family. there were many ppl.. in fact.. i tot there were too much ppl ard. but yeah, riding from one end of the coast to the other is fun still. the smell of barbequed food and the kids.. brings back fond memories of childhood. just that for some reason, when i was young, whenever i went to the beach, it was almost always rather quiet and lesser ppl ard.
and the last time i cycled, i was wat... 9? LOL.. but i managed to ride the bike after my 2nd attempt.YAY
coz my cousins are all younger than me, my uncle forced them to wear those really ugly elbow and knee guards. and those horrible kiddish helmets...so they were kinda like sulking coz i didnt have to wear it. then they were like, 'daddy, can i pls dont wear it when i ride back?? plsplsplsplspls?' of coz my uncle said a big NO. i kinda felt sorry for them..back then, my dad only made me wear that awful helmet when i was learning to ride a bike and i was wat, 8? and they are like... 14 now?

but anyways... last night, i cut 2 tshirts.. into those ripped tees, i duno wat u call them.. i'm kinda happy with the end result. but i'm not sure about wearing them to school though.... its kinda flashy. LOL
my mom was like, 'why dont u make the slit at the back bigger?'
i was like huh?! it'll look very SEXY.
she was like 'thats the whole point right?'
then i asked her if she would wear it.
she said 'if i am 17 again, why not?'
......
then she added before leaving my room 'just dont wear it infront of ur dad.'

and wat else...
oh, i've been watching zettai kareshi=absolute bf the jap drama. its damn good! i cried like hell! the moment the robot guy teared, i burst into tears! its super touching.i'm not a big fan of jap and korean dramas but this one really caught my eye when i saw the commercial for the first time on TV. and yeah, its extra good coz the robot boyfriend is super handsome, super damn goodlooking!(i cant see the difference between the 2 description i just made. haha)
at first i didnt think he was good looking. coz afterall, i never really think much about (no offence) asian male celebrities. well, for the obvious fact that most of them seem very gay to me. not that all asian guys are gays, i just think asia still has alot of "gold" yet to be discovered.
he's mokomichi hayami btw, cute name right? hehehe. so yeah, i didnt really tot much of him at first. but as the show went on, i started to notice him BETTER. and well, by the time i got to the end, i was literally am left breathless on the ground. haha.. ok enough swooning. god... this feels so high school man.. but watever, i'll post more pics of him just for my pleasure. HAHAHA

wah so serious.....so adorable!!!!! *faints*

magazine interview i think...

whoa... so coooool!!!!!!!!!!!

ok.. i actually have many more.. but yeah if i post all of it, u'll probably be bored to tears.
sooo
TATA! i duno wat to write alrdy.....

2009-06-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

i'm reading twilight again.haha.
hols are pretty boring... but i knw i will dread school reopening even more. coz it'll be 9 to 6 pm everyday. can u imagine? its gonna suck big time.

i'm starting to get healthy amounts of slp. like really 9 to 10 hours everyday. but the problem is, i'm like in a different timezone. slp at 3 am, wake up at 12 or 1pm. so technically, breakfast happens during lunch hour. haha.. i wonder how am i gonna cope with this when school starts again..

i'm so hungry...

2009-06-16T00:34:00.000-07:00

soooo
my house has a new tv, awesome as it seems.. i think its abit too clear and lifelike to a point where i kinda get the creeps that the characters are gonna climb out of my screen anytime soon.
i absolutely did not like the idea of hellboy looking at me like tat.
imagine watching the ring? i think i'll probably fall dead. before she makes it out of the tv screen.

anyway.. the new sofa's coming in later too. its such a bore.. my dad's been at home for 2 days straight into the week now.... its so annoying coz i wanna do stuffs with my mother.
my dad and i are not talking at all. i refuse to be in within a metre's radius of him. all he ever does is being such a total bitch. i mean seriously, grow up man....
he's always doing it. he will laugh super loudly in front of me with my brother, like as if i'm missing out on his company, as if his company is so great. blah. i've had enough of his 'enjoyable company' to tell anybody that its seriously overrated.

but whatever, as much as he's trying to get on my nerves, i get on his nearly every minute. i dont even need any effort. coz i'm a natural!

2009-06-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

hahahahaha
i bought a twilight poster!!!!!!
and i deliberately cleaned up my room to make room for it!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so this, is wat is hanging on my wall in my room!!!!
though i kinda get the creeps when i look at it at night.. i know edward's too charming to be scary but.. those eyes... no one has tat eye colour right?
but anyway... i wish my face was in bella's place instead.
HAHAHA
maybe i should photoshop my own face onto that poster. LOL
i just watched twilight last night(tat would make my total count to 6 times in 2 months)
i cant stop smiling whenever i watch it!
i wish i have an edward to call my own....

*sighs*

2009-06-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

wahhhhhh
finallly...
an end to all the projects!!!!!
HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
TIME TO BRING OUT THAT SEWING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-09T02:33:00.000-07:00

i keep dreaming of him recently... abit nightmarish in fact...
i rmb myself saying 'no no no' to him... he asked me if we could ever return back to what we were(it is a dream after all.....
i stumped and couldnt answer him... then i just burst my 'no no no' out...
and i woke up... feeling sore...

its over so long ago... but now i care more abt june 17... why must i still think about it when its alrdy over so long ago?? a part of me wished tat this was still last yr... but i know i dont want to rewind everything.

i miss the blue skies... and the wind... and his voice...

2009-06-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

i had the weirdest dream last night.

i dreamt of him. ok. tats not weird.

its the whole process that was really quire..

i was in a sepia world. as in.. the colours and everything looked like its straight out of an old film.

then i was... somewhere in geylang serai? it was super random and i really cant recognise the place... it looked very very old.
moulded with age.

then... there was a crowd.
i heard children singing. malay songs.
i walked towards the crowd, trying to see wat was going on. and i couldnt see anything as usual... coz i was too short....
then i turned around, behind the crowd was swarming in. and i saw him smiling.. one of the faces in the crowd...
but he wasnt smiling at me. coz he couldnt see me... he didnt knw i was there...

a sore mixture of sadness and pain gripped me. i started looking for my way out of the crowd.
i inched my way, tunneling through the crowd like a worm... everything was so slow mo...

then i bumped into my secondary school friends.i pleaded with them to accompany and take me away from that place.

and we did.
and then i bumped into my poly classmate. in my mind i was thinking, 'wats she doing here?!'
LOL.. but yeah..
wat an ending...
and i still remember how i felt like in my dream.. so small.. so hurt.

2009-06-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

its june again....
the 18th june of my life...
while the 17th seemed the most loveliest june of all, i'd prefer very much not to wind back time.
to many people, it'd seem tat i'm happy that june is finally here to stay coz its my birthday month.
fact is, i dont really give a shit about how my birthday is gonna be like. becoz it wasnt the main point.

An affinity with the number 17 it seems, it was my 17th june, on the 17th , strangely, it was also my lunar birthday, that i finally got my dreams made true. there i was standing looking into the his eyes, almost to a point where i was so ready to marry him. under the equatorial sun and bleached blue skies, on that terrace, i still remembered what was going through my mind.

'could life get any sweeter?'

the sound of the swooshing wind filled my ears, he held my hand, delicately planted his first kiss in our relationship on the back of my hand. how sweet. sounds just like your typical ideal summer love, dont it?

but that was a long long time ago....

suddenly i realise,
there are many chunks of my memory that i will never ever forget.... good or bad...

for instance, i'll never forget that very night that i told someone to stop bothering me about dating someone outside our so called 'elite' race. this is so fucking bullshit.
but anyway. i remembered he told me this,

"loving someone a for a quarter of ur 16 yrs of life is no big deal.
you guys wont last long
and when u're old and 80, u'll not remember him anymore
soon, you'll even forget about this conversation that we had."

unfortunately, i have a sick habit, almost obscenely pervertic habit of reminiscing the past and the old. so.... i'll probably never forget any of that. not a chance, definitely not this lifetime!

2009-05-31T03:48:00.000-07:00

i'm doing the report for the ivm assignment thingy..
which reminds me of last friday.. gah... why must every presentation i do be so blah?
i hate presentations. its some weird part in me tat i just have to tune to monotonous mode when i have to be part of the limelight. wats wrong with me...

for many grps, it was a blast for them i think, coz they did so well? there goes my diploma plus, (which i clearly am not ready to kiss goodbye to). what else am i supposed to do? god...

i need some divine intervention to start tat thing kicking in me again. where did that old chloe go.... it must be left somewhere... gah...

2009-05-30T04:44:00.000-07:00

stuck at home at this hour...
when i could have been at pasir ris park at alvin and azri's birthday bbq.
but i had to stay ard with my aunt all day...
my uncle wanted to divorce my aunt. like wtf? he suddenly told her that by saturday, she'll have to say whether she wants a divorce or not.
AND, he searched thru her stuffs, taking most of her jewellery. wtf right? end up she had to safeguard the remaining jewellery with her..

i'm so worried sick for her man...
she was my nanny when i was young, my second mom when i got older.

i duno what will become of her man....
we spent the day tgt, she had to put her jewelleries in my house.

i really dont know wat happens next...
tat asshole called up my other aunt and complained tat my aunt was not having sex with him, and told my other aunt to go persuade her to have sex with him. LIKE WTF?! why are u saying stuffs like tat to ppl? must u tell the whole world that u guys are not having sex?
calling my house just to complain about my aunt when she obviously have not done anything wrong?!

at mid day, he called us and said he got his brother at their house to talk it out.
hello?! who was the one who wanted a divorce?!
and he bought a bottle of XO for my uncle(my mom's eldest brother), claiming that it was just one of the many collection he has at home. but my uncle found out that it was bought from 7eleven. wth, its so funny coz it must have costed a bomb. LOL he deserved it.

i dont know wat the fuck is wrong with him, threatening her all the time. and my dad? he didnt even offer to let her come stay with us. but even if he do.. i doubt she will...
she looks so tired now...
like really fed up of everything...
my mom told her to watch out, in case my uncle tries to murder her.
and she told us that she alrdy adopted the habit of locking the door everynight. she slps in her son's room btw..

i keep thinking tat as long as she stays in tat house, she's at a risk of being killed....

i'm so scared...

2009-05-29T00:46:00.000-07:00

serena: i'm scared

dan: i know me too

serena: well its too bad to hear that its over

dan: i think, i think it was alrdy, it just took us this long to realise.. and get used to this idea

*kisses** serena steps out of the elevator

dan: serena, i still..

serena: i know.. i do

elevator door closes with dan in it.

serena: i love you

2009-05-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

i cant wait to see wat lies ahead of this road..
i'm actually looking forward to the future for the first time.

2009-05-27T02:54:00.000-07:00

NO PRIVACY NO PRIVACY NO PRIVACY

you guys should see this
its incredible!!!!

2009-05-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

小学篱笆旁的蒲公英
The dandelions at a bamboo fence of the primary school

十几英里有味道的风景
Several miles of a beautiful landscape

雾水草场传来她的声音
The fogged watery grass place passed on her voice

多少年后也开始很好听
Many years later it still started to be good to hear

将愿望折纸飞机寄出信
Just wish the folded aeroplane paper will put out the truth

因为我们等不到那流星
It is because we can’t wait for that meteor

等枕头坠离命运的引力
Waiting the pillow to fall by the gravitation of destiny

却不知道到底能去哪里
Yet don’t know where it is able to go

Chorus:

已经长大的约定那样清晰
A grown up promise, that much clear

拿过到的我相信
Holding it through until I believe

说好要一起旅行
Agreed to travel together

是你如今唯一坚持的任性
Now it is you solely, who strong headedly insist

------------------------------------------------------------------

在走廊想霸占她手心
wanted to seize her palm at the passage

我们却注意窗边的情敌
Yet we paid attention to the love rival at the window side

我去到哪里你都跟很紧
Wherever I go, you are so close with me

哼歌而梦在等待着惊喜
Humming songs and dreams, while waiting for surprise

Chorus:

已经长大的约定那样清晰
A grown up promise, so clear

拿过到的我相信
Holding it through until I believe

说好要一起旅行
Agreed to travel together

是你如今唯一坚持的任性
Now it is you solely, who strong headedly insist

已经长大的约定那样珍惜
A grown up promise, that much valueable

与你聊不完的曾经
something to do with the incomplete talk you said that moment

而我已经分不清你是友情
Yet I already can’t differ, you are friendship

还是错过的爱情
Or the wronged love

2009-05-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

man.. another project this time. by friday must present. sian la..i had presentations.. i dont like to jump out in the crowd and start stammering coz i knw i will.. we're supposed to do like a case study on 3 levels of retail stores. like chanel, zara, cottonon. sumthing like tat.. so last friday was like the day of the field trip but well, the thing is, we're gg without our teacher. so its like...
no school on friday.
and tmr, should have been an independent study day. but due to the proj, have to spend whole day at suntec with my friends to do the proj.
i hope we manage to do some stuffs.
coz i really wanna do well in this course...
i need my diploma plus.. if tats what u call it...

i miss winnie suddenly....
sighs...
and i just wasted another day....
watching gossip girls...
goodness.. that show is soooo good...
i duno wat the hell was i doing not watching it earlier!
chuck and nat are super damn hot!!!!!!
DAN TOO! but after wiking season 1's storyline(sorry, i couldnt help it)
i found out tat dan is the jerk after all.
sooooo
i dont like dan anymore...
HAHA

GG RULEZ!!!!!

2009-05-22T10:49:00.001-07:00

Question
what is the purpose of life (questions and answers )about it

Answer
Most modern philosophers who are in the Anglo-American tradition, and many who are in the Continental tradition, would ask you, in response to your question, at least two others:

1.) What is it that makes you think life either has a purpose or needs one?

2.) If you could state a purpose for life, and it was imposed from above, would that not compromise your freedom? If it were not imposed from above, you make a set of choices of goals, none of which, with near certainty, would be your life's sole purpose. (The point is that there is nothing that says that there can be only one purpose to a life.

Ponder these two questions, and I think you will abandon any worries about finding the purpose of life.

2009-05-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

hello ppl who actually read my blog!
i am blogging from my school!!!!
well i mean i'm in school. using the school's internet.
and my friends are tryin to get me to play viwawa with them..
its like abit lame leh...
but anything la
just play loh.
SO FUNNY.
i now playing the song 'nobody but you' -wondergirls.
LOL, and weehow cant pay attention to his game. LOL
HE IS HUMMING OUT THE SONG BESIDE!
LOLROFL

and they are playing dai ti.wth is tat?!
HAHA..
i talk on msn no one reply me sia..
duno the connection or wat.
the connection like fuck loh...
so sianed...
nothing to do...

2009-05-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

i see my classmates all publicising their blogs..
though i felt like i want to put my link onto my nick or as my personal message.
still...
i just felt like i want a piece of private life for myself.

i want a camera.
a big black colour one.. those nikon hardcore kinds.

i wanna take pictures.
i wanna.
i wanna do so many things.

i wish.
i wish i was as busy as some of my classmates.
busy having fun.
busy doing sumthing cool.

GOD DAMNED IT CAN SUMBODY HAND ME A BLOODY CAMERA?!

2009-05-14T05:07:00.000-07:00

okayyyyyy...
now..
i have so much things on my list...
the
TO DOs
&
TO BUYs

azri and alvinder invited me to their bbq bday 'party' which will be on 30th may.
and well, my mom said yes..
and welll....
ahmad's going.
i'm still disturbed by the fact that i'd be facing him during the whole bbq. though alvin promised me i'd be too busy to even notice.
but then..

i duno...
i'd be too unglam.
i duno why...
i'm not skinny.
i'm definately not pretty.
SO....

its a god damned barbeque.. at pasir ris park...
where ppl wear....
-____-" bikinis......

how ego boosting by the time i get there....
i wish i weigh like... 45kg right now...
SERIOUSLY...
totally out of the question....

GAHHHHH...
I'M SO FUCKING WORRIED!!!!!

he'll be there...
i'm not worried tat i cant impress him.
i'm worried i'd look like a slob. A BLOB.
like.. omg, juggernaut appeared.
u get wat i mean?
i'm his ex..
i'm supposed to improve with times.....

gah......

2009-05-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

i got my money out of tat tin alrdy. haha
i use this really large knife like thing.
then the whole tin really look very cui by the end of it.
LOL.

and u know...
i love my frens.
but i am the kind tat, unless u are my bf or my lesbian gf, (which will never happen)
i wouldnt want to be talking to u every possible minute of the day.
i have my own life. i dont want to report to u all the time as if u are my bf.

CHRIS IS STRANGLING MY NECK!!!!!
as in..
he smses me all day, as if he's my bf.
he's just a fren. goodness.
if u are a girl, i wouldnt mind. well, at least we are best frens.
but he's a boy!?
and 26 yrs old.....
i love frens.. but not half here and there kind...
i wont calll him a best fren.
he's like a brother..
but even brothers and sisters give each other breathing space....
DONT SMS ME ALL DAY!!!! I'M TIRED OF ALL THAT CRAP SIA!!!!!!

2009-05-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

SIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i put my money into my coin bank.. as in quite alot sia!!!
end up?
the bloody tin was so thick tat i couldnt open it at all...
bloody hell man......
how sia...
i was knocking it everywhere and blah...
there wasnt even a single hole..

2009-05-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

okay!!!!!
this is my first blog post.
USING MY NEW LAPTOP!!!!
ok la... not much hoo haa coz its like the cheapest one ard...
well...
i'll work harder for a mac book pro..
meantime...
this is wat i'll have to make do with..
its an acer...
not very impressive huh..
haha..
watever.
i think its cool though...
wat a great big jump from my old hag..
its sitting by my window now..LOL
alone..

2009-04-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

omg...
i really just have to let this out...
i dreamt a very wonderful dream last night..
it wasnt me getting back tgt with him or of edward cullen la..

i dreamt of the most breath taking boy ever..
i just looked at him...
he smiled at me..
i saw his eyes...
OMG...
i almost fainted in my sleep la...
i was just looking at him the whole time..

ook it goes like this..
i was walking on this track in the woods... not really woods leh.. its a really weird surrounding la.. my dreams are always the same kind of weird places.. but always the same kind..
anyway, theres alot of trees ard and a stretch of houses along the skinny track of stones.. those tat u kick at ur friends for the fun of getting dust in their eyes.

then there are ppl ard me walking... the sky was a dimly lit by little sunlight.. coz it seemed to be after rain.. everywhere was sparkling with water droplets.
and i saw some ppl walking their dogs.. and i saw a puppy! so CUTE!!!!! it followed me for a while coz it wasnt on leash..
did i mention tat it was cold and everyone was wearing coats...
so i entered one of those small houses..
and it just blurred for tat part.. (i think it was a job interview or sumthing, it was dimly lit.)
and i walked past a glass fridge filled with can drinks towards the sitting room.
and i just stunned there..

i saw the most beautiful stranger alive. in my dreams.
he wasnt a blonde kind.. certainly not asian..
i stunned there... and coz the sitting room was like, 1 level lower. and oddly enough, as all dreams were, there is no steps tat can allow me as a lady to walk down the level.
so that boy walked over and grabbed my waist and carried me down.
so i landed on the ground safely..
and just looked at him.. into his eyes...
brown. i rmb them brown. framed with thick lashes..
he smiled at me sweetly.. almost like wat i needed at the end of every tiring day..
as if we knew each other, i sighed and hooked my index finger on his large hand. he looked at me, still so lovingly..
and i just put my head on his chest.. like old lovers..
and my mom woke me up.
wow...

2009-04-15T06:07:00.000-07:00

whoa...
i've spent the past few days chionging at my clothes...
trying to finish them asap. or rather, as much as possible
haha.

here's my small workspace.
god knows how warm it is..
sit there for about an hour u start sweating as if u've went jogging..
there isnt a blackout mind u..
its just tat, it happened that that part of the house has faulty lights.
so yeah, thus this cute lamp.
haha.
recently dowloaded corinne bailey rae's album...
wow...
wat beautiful songs she sings:D
i'm so mesmerised...

2009-04-12T06:25:00.001-07:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
i just finished watching the devil wears prada.
tats like, my third time watching it?
i dont know how i'm gonna explain my thoughts on it with my limited amt of vocabulary.
good isnt the word.
nice definately didnt fit in.

everything was so chic.
andy got an amazing job tat millions of girls would kill to have. (i'm included)
miranda is the devil. but at the end of the movie, i kinda felt that, miranda sorta sees andy as the girl tat she couldnt be.
i'm sure she wouldnt want her own daughters to end up like herself.
andy is a pretty strong character in the sense tat, she knew where she was gg. wat she really wanted. and wat she's willing to give up for her ambitions. just tat at the start, she was confused. thus losing her boyfriend. (now now, tat sounds familiar huh....)
and they did part of the movie in paris. GOD, it was so beautiful!!!
NEW YORK! tats the best part!!!!!!!
the fashion capital in america isnt hollywood ok? its NEW YORK!
FASHION AVENUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok i'm losing myself. i think i'm gonna drown in tat fashion dream again.
i just wanna say tat, the local fashion scene and the world fashion scene, are WORLDS apart.
not saying that local fashion scene isnt great. well, compared, we only have like one or two designer who's really hit world class standards.
tan yoong? and wat? the long silenced ashley isham?
we lack an identity which i am pretty sure is dying to be uncovered.
fashion isnt about half drunk socialite wannabes and lame parties.
its an art!
i hate the local fashion scene, they make it seem like a pile of lame skinny girls, all smiling and grinning, trying to pull of some highclass stunt.
tats not fashion.
tats being stupid and acting like a bunch of good for nothing clowns.
its a wonder why singapore's not getting anywhere in the world of fashion.
we're experiencing stunned growth right now.
its not about wearing less. its really about wearing it well.

2009-04-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

just finished watching 'amelie'
wat a beautiful movie to watch. makes me wonder why it doesnt come in the form of a book.
the storyline was simply very pleasing. not that kind tat satisfy ur usual tastes.
a kind that makes u thing so much along the way with the movie.
and
watching the movie makes me think of the uncanny similarities tat amelie and i have.
most of her thoughts and actions are something tat i can relate to. surprisiingly. coz she's supposed to be weird.
or maybe i am wat i was called by him. i am weird.

like how her heart beats incredibly fast when her father uses a stethoscope to check her heart rate every once a month and they only interact once a month.
it wasnt racing coz of incest. it was racing coz she was touched by the intimacy that she and her dad can share for the one time, every month.
and she's fond of the guy who works at the grocery store. in a friendly way i mean! yet he has a mental deficiency. by the looks of it, low IQ.
that happens to me sometimes when i meet someone like tat. not all the time though. i have limited patience.
just tat anyone with extreme kindness and gentle touch tends to have the same effect on me.
like the old granny nurse, so sweet and always calls me 'darling dear'.

i wonder if ppl ard me have that too. i dont have a racing heart when i talk to my dad. totally. no way.

amelie lived in a world of her own. she imagines. always asking herself silly questions. but never really saying them out. so she's still sort of normal.

some lines that i loved from the movie
'you'll never be a vegetable becoz even an artichoke has a heart'
'when the finger points to heaven, only the idiot looks at the finger'

there were plenty more. just tat i cant rmb.
and she got a weird guy too. in the end. they looked each other in the eye intently for the second time in the movie and kissed like old lovers. that part blew me away.
he was weird. in a good way.
he's a good man.
wonder when i will i find mine.

all in all,
the movie had a very surreal parisian effect on me.
i'm like reaaaally in the zone now.
dont supposed i would be out of it soon. =)

2009-04-08T22:01:00.001-07:00

ytd, went out whole day with my mom. went to jalan sultan to get another yard of one of the cloths, coz i was short of it.
end up, i bought another 2 yards of another plaid cloth.
quite nice
and we wanted to eat at one of the shophouses. but well, my mom has something against middle eastern food.. so we just shopped ard there for a while.
we went into a shop called the loft.
super cool man!!!!
if i have boutique, i want it there.
or maybe i'll make it my home.

haha.
haix..
so tired these days...
i always wake up so late, but still feel so tired.
i'm so heavy headed now...
suddenly, i tot of hassan. the kid from 'the kite runner'
why he suddenly come into my mind sia..
but anyway.. i miss my book... its gone now...
=(

2009-04-07T07:59:00.000-07:00

ytd was a full day out with eudy and joyce.
whoa...
sakae sushi.
not amazing.
but pretty fantastic for an sg jap food restaurant!
and we shopped at bugis village.
the largest street shopping destination in sg. like there are any others to begin with.
for details, go to eudy's blog. i lazy to post pics.haha

i'm like.. reading on rob pattinson and kristen stewart off the net like crazy!!!!!!!!
omg la...
i'm crazy over twilight and i cant wait for new moon to be released!!!!!!!!!!
bloody shit pls publish midnight sun first??!

sighs...

when will i find my own edward?
even if i do.. will i dare to even love him?
coz it'd be so hard for me to dip into another blackhole again...
coz i barely made it out.
fucking drama man... why am i so drama all the time... argh
i hate myself.

2009-04-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

MERMAIDS. this is wat happens when i have nothing to do in the office.

adding more pics done when i was at work!

and as u can see, its getting coloured.

and final coloured piece. though i personally think its really ugly.
like my colleague always say, 'GAN ERH!'

2009-04-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

i'm still so in love with edward cullen.....

eons ago, i met a boy,
he made my heart run wild and out of control.
dream of him almost everynight.
makes me smile at the thought of him.
he was like my personal land of memories, stretching out to meet the horizons.
every blade of dried weed, budding leaf, green grass
every stalk of daisy, dandelion, lavender and so much more that covered the open field.
my little haven. in this wide wide world.

in this bed of solitude, i found my heart's much longed for salvation.
as i lay, i saw
between those perfect cracks of sky caught in the leaves
little glimpses of what could be.
love
hate
kindness
dancing like angels among the scattered puffy clouds that looked as delicious as pink cotton candies.
and the sun rays tingling my merry skin
warming my cheeks

and though edward cullen,who will never be able to work the magic of the boy,
will always remind me of the feeling of being loved
and being in love.

:)

2009-04-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

whoa...
now everyday at home.. quite slack sia...
i'm working on the dresses i wanna make for my school..
whoa... pretty big project coz its like... almost 8 dresses...
i hope i am ready on time...
duno why.. i just want to complete it all on time (april 14)

orientation starts on 14 to 17...
sucks man..
i hate camps
why must they have camps???
fuck right...

stupid sia...
and yeah.. i'm oogling at the tv.. coz i'm watching twilight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDWARD!!!!!!!!!! MARRYYY MEEE!!!!!!!!!!
haha.. okok, back to reality....

i'm downloading quite alot of songs now...
apes and androids.. blood moon.
fucking nice i tell u..
and yann tiersen- amelie soundtrack. SUPERB!

i feel quite rotten coz i havent open up the blogshop yet...
i just dont feel like doing all the crap admit tat is attached.
haix... feel so lazy..
wait my pay come in le then i do bah.

I'M A RED HEAD AGAIN!!!!!!
had a haircut too.. blah.. its so ugly...
but neverminded. i dont care.
styling it will work a miracle.
LOL

threadless tees came...
darn it..
kinda big for me..
but watever.. i like it anyway.. my fav is the 'her hair' design.
super uber cool and unique.
i bet
U WILL NEVER FIND IT ON BUGIS STREET!
haha
so yeah...
tats bout it! bb!

2009-04-01T05:50:00.000-07:00

ytd was my last day in the office..
so saad...
i miss my friends alrdy...
we went for steamboat at bugis. i love the idea of it.. but definately not the extra ppl in it.. thank god meiling didnt come. or i'll be staring her down. but still, bloody serene was there.

the guys gave me the twilight DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY BOYS!!!!
they were so nice to give me something tat i love!!!! so thoughtful!
and i was so surprised tat my supervisor and my other colleague, the one who was always clearing up my mess actually gave me gifts!
they never gave any one of the ppl who left before me!
so i was quite shocked. LOL

it felt like a breakup with maybank.
and i realised that 'breakups' and 'loss' is really a cycle.

now tat its all over, i want to go back. almost like the time when i left my jc. i wanted to go back and wear my uniform all over again.

and its gonna be a new start too soon.
seems like only ytd tat i was still gg thru my first day at the bank.
like as if my first day at the jc orientation.

how time flies so quickly..
its not gonna slow down...
wonder 3 yrs from now... where will i be...
will i still be in contact with those ex colleagues?
just so ytd they were my colleagues... today, they are 'ex'.
duno when will my future classmates be 'ex'...

and as said, i will upload more of my ms paint artworks done during my spare time at the bank.
this was initially done in microsoft words. then copied onto ms paint. done with the alphabet 'O'. and that tag at the bottom is a lyric from 'the submarines'

this was done on mspaint, using random rectangles. i was really god damn bored. i swear.

(i have no idea why uploading my stuffs here is so pissingly slowwwww)

loads of spray painting and heaps of "douche"
forgive me.. mascaras on ms paint is so difficult to use.

2009-03-27T08:44:00.001-07:00

Gift from joyce :D

同樣的話說好多遍我的擔心妳很瞭解
但愛像糾結的毛線得一天一點慢慢解

我會永遠在妳身邊但我不能說妳都對
他為了什麼要告別其實已不是重點

一顆心飛走的時候　
兩個人的擁抱都讓人想淚流

以前妳很快樂什麼都告訴我
妳後來為什麼要自己一個默默痛著
太聰明就想太多越倔強越沒路走
我懂得妳怕我難過捨不得

以前妳曾說過灑脫才能自由
陪著我看日落再陪我聊到天空亮了
別拉著他的衣袖就讓我牽妳的手
夢想的下一個幸福就快來了

妳抬頭是天空妳還有好朋友
陪著妳唱情歌再陪妳聊到心又暖了
別拉著他的衣袖就讓我牽妳的手
完美的下一個幸福就快來了

妳也許想回頭妳也許還會寂寞　
我一定陪著走過

2009-03-27T05:46:00.000-07:00

the most hilarious thing happened.

a kid asked me out on a date?
how weird is tat!

he's the son of sum big shot in maybank actually.
rich kid.
he's 17 this yr.. passed his 17 bday.
though we are same age.
i cant help it but keep thinking bout how young he is.
lol

though we are like, total clones in taste of music.
but..
he's got so much growing up to do.

sometimes, u see a guy and u immediately know tat he is like, super not a man yet.

he's a kid man...
gosh its really so funny..
i admit i had a little crush on him.. well. it wasnt a crush.. mistook it for a crush..

but its so not gonna happen man..
goodnes..

2009-03-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

should i or should i not?

hmmm...
i'm in desperate need of money.
i need money fast.
should i make a blogshop for sprees? but money wont come in easily...
its gonna be super taxing for me coz i'll be studying and all...
i'll have to do alot of admin....

meet up with ppl...
sianz man..
u guys know how i hate the public and having to go all over the world...

2009-03-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

these days in the office is so boring..
there isnt much to be done. and we ended up chatting the whole day thru..
its amazing tat we actually found so much to talk about. LOL

i ended up using MSpaint in the shitty comp to make some stuffs...

i actually did so many more stuffs with the computer la... but i only took pics of these.
will upload soon though..
u guys know how hard it is to draw with a mouse right? especially when its so difficult to even draw a circle!
so yea. i managed to fishes ok? tats pretty much an achievement for me alrdy!

2009-03-13T07:02:00.000-07:00

i've been trying pretty hard to slim down..
not tat hard..trying to run almost everyday for an hr.
did work abit... lost a little teeeny weeny bit of weight.

maybe gonna go running again tmr.
morning.
coz i skipped tonight's run.
i was FAMISHED AND TIRED!!!!
coz i couldnt chew, i only managed to shove down a tortilla wrap in the morning, swallowing most of the mouthfuls unmasticated and whole. all i could manage was to rip off pieces of my wrap and was on the verge of choking the whole time. was in a total rush too.
gulped down my coffee and totally ran out of the house.

and at work, during lunch, the sight of the only foods tat i could eat totally turned me off.
i soooo swear i'm not eating tat porridge again.. i dont hate it. i'm just sick of salty liquids.

and i had no choice..
i had a bowl of dessert.
some sweet shit.
i got hungry within 2 hrs.
wth?
so when i got home. i was so effing hungry and weak.
zzzzzzzz
omg, i havent had my medicine yet..
GAHHHH!H!!!
i cant seem to remember things like tat.

2009-03-12T05:46:00.000-07:00

wisdom sucks when it comes in the form of a tooth.
my jaws are gonna snap any moment!!!!!!!!!!!!
i went to the dentist and he called it the naughty tooth.
LOL
gum infection plus a growing tooth.
i'm living on baby food man!!!!

2009-03-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

sometimes, its just so hard to ignore.
so hard to forget.
so hard to let go.

i thought i did let go..
but it seems that my mind is holding on to those last few tiny bits and pieces that i can still find along the way..

you stick out like a sorethumb everywhere!
your smell,
your likes, dislikes.
news about u, tat eventhough i PRETENDED to be not bothered by it.
still,
i'm not an oscar winning actress.
i still see u sometimes in my dreams.
sometimes, we were holding hands, smiling at each other.
sometimes, i was just watching u.

punctual as a clock,
u visit everyday, even as i go jogging.
so many times i've ran with streaming tears.
everytime i pass by the opposite canal, i tot abt our secret rendezvous tat night. the one season finale of us. the final parting words u left me 'i'm gonna see u again, i swear'.
stings of a thousand honeyed explatives.
when those terrifyingly beautiful words still chime in my ears.
hauntingly bitter aftertastes.
i was no better than the world's greatest fool to believe that u'd do good ur words.
when i knew you had brought along with u the door tat u've left from.

wat am i doing all this for?
for whom am i doing all this for?
how many hundreds of pages of my diary was dedicated to u?
i lost count.

i want to look like that tortured angel just like u did.
i want to show you how pea-sized ur lifetime of sufferings are compared to mine.

i want you to crumble just like i did.
lose hope in everything.
feel so alone.
when u wake up, u realise there's no one there anymore.
how difficult it is to mould into the new sorry life.
how hard it was to hear ur name and even u being happy!
how i'd stiffen whenever u come online.
how i couldnt smile again.
how much stabbing pains straight through my heart when i finally decided it was time to delete all those pictures. the sweeter they are, the tougher it was to bear the pain.
how many buckets i sweared i've shed just for u.

but of coz it'll never happen.
for,
i loved you too much,
you love me too little too less.

i'm sinking every minute.hardly any air left in my screaming lungs. let me drown and die. i dont want to know whether u'll come and save me in the end. because the truth hurts too much for me to live.

you're going on an escapade. but how could u leave me burning in hell?

2009-03-07T05:57:00.000-08:00

CONGRATS TO EUDY WHO MADE IT INTO HER COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hip HIP HOOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-07T05:35:00.000-08:00

went to city plaza today.
this is where most blogshop owners get their stuffs from.
yes.
to sell to ppl like u or me..
of the whole place.
i only found one or two shops that was worth taking a look at.
the others were just pure junk and loads of crappy crinkled sewing.
i got bored pretty fast.
Far east would be a better place to shop if i seriously have to shop for cheaper clothings.

after tat, i went to tanglin mall..
god..
it feels so long since i've last been here..
i loved tanglin mall ever since i was born.
coz when i was younger, my mom made extreme efforts to make our lives more 'her'. which means, english.
well she's graduated from a london fashion school.. i mean literally in london.
so i'm brought up pretty much the way she lived there.
she always loved to bring us to holland village, tanglin mall, anywhere that spells out 'ANG MOH'

so we did our grocery shopping there. and had tea at a small cafe.
omg la!!!!!!!
the lemon meringue pie is to die for man!!!!!!!!!!
plus the cup of delicious smelling black coffee with no sugar and no milk at all...
the combination is F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha.. i love my pastries..
the walnut brownie was OKAY..
not tat beathe taking.
the pie was like an awesome smack in the face breeze..
woohooo......~~~~~~~~~!!!

2009-03-05T05:29:00.000-08:00

its so funny..
how life works..

back when campus superstar first started out.
the very first,
there was a guy called alejandro.
i heard him sing and was soo WOWed by him.

good looks,
good voice.

wats not to like!?

and i came to jc. and saw him!
i found him!!!!!!
i once saw him only on tv! and now he's in my school!!!!

and i joined choir, HIS CCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL.. i was pretty happy though.
and now, i have his msn..
so weird right?

life is incredible how our paths always cross :D

2009-03-01T02:09:00.000-08:00

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see, lyricstop
And you'll realise that you love me.

Yeah...
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah...

2009-02-20T20:19:00.000-08:00

i did mention i bought twilight book recently... i finally found all four!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i'm
SUPER DUPER STUCK ON THIS WHOLE SERIES!!!
i'm not sleeping just to read this man!!!!
i love twilight!!!!
seriously its so much better then the movie!
i think, even the edward in the movie will never compare to the one in my dreams..
wow..
its just so breathtakingly good.

2009-02-19T20:58:00.000-08:00

went to lau pa sat last night...
so effing tired this morning
so i intended to take half day off..
but then my mom tot i go out meet bf..
end up half day also cannot go..
lol
i wanna go there fold letter de loh
like tt can talk and chit chat.
it is damn to have them ard!
haix...
i miss chris
i miss desmond
i miss wei zhong
i miss eelam
i miss renu
i miss jina
i miss everybody...
tsk tsk

2009-02-15T04:41:00.000-08:00

my colleagues and me at lau pa sat at night having dinner.. obviously?!
that guy with a wide smile in erm, yellow or light green colored plain tee is the bday boy, the cause of the occasion :D chris:D

drinking with the guys.. pics dont speak a thousand words.. i'm not flirting with them. just drinking. yes.. tiger beer ppl..
dont give me tat face!
i drinkXD

serene is the one holding the bowl.. the only bugger with the weirdest pose in my opinion. LOL..
gary is soooooooo gayish here.. hahaXD

2009-02-15T03:00:00.000-08:00

so long never update my blog le...
i dont think anyone reads this whole crappy thing man...
ytd was vday..
and hell yeah it was great deal of 'fun'
he must be enjoying today with someone else...
so sickeningly happy..
and i'm dying and sinking into my seat right now...
shit hell
must the weather be so hot?
i'm cringing from ytd's tummyaches and today's headaches..
every part of me is hurting man...
i hate the sun...
went out on friday night with my colleague, chris.
was supposed to go alone to look for my books..
but he wanted to tag along anyway to look for jina's (my other colleague) farewell gift..
so we went shopping.
it felt odd coz he is 26 while i'm 17...
but i dont feel his age when we talk.. no age barrier at all.
duno who's the matured or immature one.
HAHA

anyway
it was fun hanging out with him.. i got home pretty late for a 17 yr old.. considering i have a mom at home fuming.. LOL.

everyone in the office seems to think that we are in love...
lol.. cant things be just platonic? just coz me and chris likes to pretend tat we are dating doesnt mean we really are. LOL.. our jokes are getting a little out of hand man..
colleagues will come over and ask if we are tgt, sometimes, i shrug it off.. coz i'm fed up.
sometimes, we play along, lol
'hey, u guys tgt?'
'hell yeah! he's meeting my parents tonight, u know the rules. '
LOL
its super funny coz they can never get a definite ans from us..
but its even more incredible..
coz they never get tired of asking..

2009-02-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

oh my goodness..
i have such a hard time imagining my own version of edward..
damn it.. must rob pattinson always pop out? i know he's hot.. but i'm really kicking myself for watching the movie before reading it..
at least, i would have known what my version of edward would look like..

i missed my stop while reading on the train. my ears weren't even plugged pls!
and i found myself giggling to the book like an idiot while reading those funny witty arguments between bella and edward..
god.. if only i had my own edward..

i'm so immersed in the book man.. why doesnt such a thing happen to me?
i'm making and official announcement.
Calling all blood drinkers!!!! if u look like edward from twilight, i'll let u bite me!
just god damn it, come bite me and make me a 17 yr old forever aright?
i'm not choosy, i hate the sun.
for the sake of staying young forever and having changing eye colors without having to pay for contacts, i dont mind drinking animal blood!!!!
at most... i'll just turn those who are like me too.
HAHA
ok..
enough crap..
went out for the whole day with my mom.
brought my mom to billy bombers
dang it man! the nachos scottsdale there was incredible!!!! and the milkshakes there are to die for man!!!!
had a meal of fish and chips and waffle with ice cream.. i have to say, i love newyork newyork's waffle icecream better..
well.. and i felt guilt pangs struck me after thinking how much my dad was missing out on.
i bought some french dessert for him..
a small round thing tat taste uber sweet, comes in many flavours.
bought it at bakerzin.
i dont know if he liked it or not..
i just left it in the fridge for him. LOL

2009-02-02T08:14:00.000-08:00

another blog update in the middle of the night...
i smell traditional chinese new year ard the house..
the sweet subtle scent of fresh jasmine, lilies and burning incense swirls up my nostrils.
tingling my heartstrings..
its the time of the year again :)

went out with poh ai, joyce, and peiyi the other day, it was a cool day out:D missed them so much.
we had billy bombers, and joyce's pasta was so thick, one spoonful was enough to make me stop. HAHA, i had a fine fried chicken thigh topped with mozarella. Wat authentic american food.

smacks lips*

we took neoprints! its been so long since i last stepped into tat large machine tat always reminded me of the tent tat my father used to build for me when i was still a little girl.
we had a fun time trying to figure out wat to do..
coz u know, some of us just dont have the natural ability of posing in front of cameras like tat.
and i, happened to be photogenically handicapped.
HAHA.

i've been listening to alot of lady gaga...
she's so goddamned cool man.
dang!

2009-01-27T05:04:00.000-08:00

wah...
super long havent updated my blog...
the last time i clicked 'new post' was like eons ago..

oops..
i think i feel hungry..
haha
its chinese new yr ppl!
doesnt seem to feel a speck like it at all
especially when my only surviving ah gong is dead now...

no more gatherings.. not at least for my mom's side of the family..

went to my ah pek's house today.
i got a pretty good hong baos.
EXCEPT FOR ONE!!!!
mutherfucking hell man..
my uncle's wife gave me a 10bux hong bao.
i'm not pissed just becoz its 10bux ok?
i'm pissed coz they are really a well to do family and everyone else gave at LEAST 20bux.
and they, the rich asses, flaunt two fresh green 5bux notes at us.
even my mom gave much more to her kids la..

wat a god damned bitch
LOL

i splurged on alot of makeup recently..
omg.
i gotta stop spending
and i plucked my eyebrows!!!!!! LOL
the new csm..

ok i'm being bimbotic
well..
when was i never.

2009-01-21T07:52:00.000-08:00

HAHA, so long never update le..
i'm doing well
really well
coz i'm moving on, and I CAN'T SLOW DOWN!!!!

heard there are some assholes who betted how long tat we'd last.
hope u guys won some money!

seriously man..
all u 2faced ppl out there, get a life

anyway... recently spend too much, have to cut back sia..

and the office just keeps getting better everyday!
just tat jennifur is still being such a bitch on the block..
seriously feel like slapping her.

this is my corner.
we all got an embellished pencil from our supervisor, which we stuck onto our computers
LOL
we are so damn bo liao, haha

2009-01-13T05:46:00.000-08:00

cried the whole of last night...
couldnt sleep until i saw the first light of tuesday...
and i had to go for work....

maybe its time to really finally let go...

but lord have mercy.. pls let me let him go...
let me just open my tight grasp..
let me remember tat he belongs to someone else now..

wat does the girl look like?...
is she pretty?
she must be very lucky..
i'll bet she's beautiful..
she's got everything tat i have to live without..

2009-01-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

another tiring week zoomed past before me...
went to have buffet dinner with my colleagues..
it was super hilarious man.. OMG... HAHA i tot i was gonna die from laughing so hard with a full stomach.
we played a game of number guessing.. the person who guesses the number would have to do a forfeit.. and ours was eating some weird combination from the edible buffet counter..
LOL
there was lime sorbet with wasabi, lemon smeared thick with wasabi, kiwi with soya sauce and wasabi..
and well..
i got the damned kiwi..
HAHA

and the next day, i had a super fucking fun day out with eudy and nazirul at Temasek poly.. OMG!!!!! ITS THE FUCKING BEST PLACE TO BE CAN!?
LOL...
i LOVE LOVE LOVE IT LA!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm praying tat i can get in....
i hope eudy can get into her desired course too. HAHA, anyway, she loves her first choice still..
its so funny, when she saw my desired course, she was like, omg, there's photography!!!1, then it made into her last few choices.. then it shot up a few notches, then it became her 3rd choice! LOL?!
HAHA
and i went to my friend's house today.. coz there was a like.. how to say arh...
u know those taoist rituals where they invite the gods to possess their bodies so the gods can issue amulets and answer prayers like, literally in front of u?
i asked about my course...
and my god-daddy, a deity, said tat i'd have a hard time.. due to the travelling time to school LOL...
he said i will lose my temper..
ah...
tat seriously is the main issue...
HAHA

2009-01-08T03:57:00.000-08:00

very long never update my blog...
so sianx...busy managing my blogshop..XD sucks big time... i advise ppl who are my friends not to buy from me... coz i really am trying to earn big time... from a few meagre products?haha..

anyway...
i still see him alot in the mornings...
he visits me regularly...

when he left, he forgot to take his image with him..
i wish it hadnt all happened...

2009-01-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

had a fun day at the office.. damn the office is getting better! LOL..
we talked alot and crapped alot.. there were LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS of laughter!!!
and my occasional sniffles evolved to giggles, to unsupressed chuckles, to loud bursts of laughter! LOL
they are a bunch of funny people, possibly the funniest that i've ever met:D
we talked about many things and we are like the loudest ppl in the entire office.
we usually get yellings from across the office to ask us to shut up, LOL

and well, when a few grown childish men and a half way there deviant plus a 17 yr old, ms-seem-to-know-it-all-but-really-doesnt, u kinda get the idea wat we can talk about.
well, really just anything under the sun.
Ranging from gays to worth of sex, to tattoos and moms..
to politics, to ghost stories, to piercings?, to restaurants and they never really got into detail when it comes to value of sexes.. coz they think i'm still too young... XD

anyway..
they are all very gentlemen, though some tend to be on the bimbotic side.. they are all cool ppl to mix with:D

and there is jina and renu.. not as funny and crazy, but really nice girls to hang ard with. totally can count on them for advice on anything..
coz did i mention, i'm the youngest there!

2008-12-31T06:51:00.000-08:00

today, had a new year's eve party in my office.
i got a plush toy cushion for the gift exchange! LOL! my colleagues all said it looked like me.. ZZzzzz
all my collagues got each other as exchange partners.. except for the unknowing ones like renu and serene? they didnt know who were their gift givers.
renu got a perllini's silver bracelet! DANG! we were joking bout who her admirer was.
Serene got the best gift of all i think.. she got a box of chocs and ESPIRIT vouchers from Chris..i'm so jealous tat i only got a cushion lah! LOL
anyway, serene was on the verge of tears when she saw the present.. and everyone was fooling ard, dunno whether to help chris cover up or not coz apparently, she likes him, and he down on luck or wat, had to pick her name thru the tikam. LOL
anyway, he was reluctant to make much noise when we were all going hoo haa over her present. LOL
it was hilarious..
AND THE FUCKING MOST HILARIOUS THING WAS!!!!!!!
ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES GOT A CALCULATOR AS A GIFT!!!! WTF!?
LOL!!!!
it was a dramatic commotion when he pulled the calculator out of the bag, we burst out into peals of laughter, coz everyone else got pretty sweet gifts like chocs and all.. t-shirts? mugs?
he got a FREAKIN CALCULATOR?
and its a fucking cheap huge kind tat u can find those shop keepers using.. goodnes.. its not even cool looking.. its grey..
erm..
LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
THINKING ABOUT IS MAKING ME SNIFFLE LIKE CRAZY!

2008-12-29T07:01:00.000-08:00

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never let forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

2008-12-28T04:07:00.000-08:00

these days were good..
ytd went out whole day sia.. went for the zss school concert at the singapore conference hall.
WE HAD NEWYORK NEWYORK!!!
it was nice but well. i was sooooooo fuulll by the time the dessert came..
LOL
it was great:)
really, eudy's company made things nicer:)
haha
i saw him at his shop on xmas... he was working.. wearing that geek specs tat he told me about before we broke up... i cringed with mixed feelings... felt like i wanted to run at the sight of him..

today.. was a total shit day compared to the others..
had dimsum in the morn...
but then my dad wanna go robinsons...like wat?! i'm in slippers for god's sakes...
as if he cared...
so i had to go..
and SO SUAY LAH!!!!!!!!
BUMP INTO THAT BIG NOSE FUCKER ALEX!!!!!
WAH LAO...
i saw him working as a promoter i think..
HE LOOKS LIKE SHIT I TELL U!!!
I FUCKING WANNA PUNCH HIS FACE AND KICK HIS STOMACH AND STEP ON HIS DICK WITH A HIGH HEEL!!!!!
i hate him to bits man..
if there were no law..
he is the first one dead. I SOLEMNLY SWEAR